| 003. |
[24 Mar 2010|07:59pm] |
How good is your Death-dar?
Not sure what I mean? Then you or someone you love might already be dead.
Death-dar is me own personal new invention what identifies Death Eaters in one compact device what you can easily slip in your pocket and take with you! The name comes from Death for Death Eaters and -dar for a Muggle device called "radar," used for finding things what are not immediately visible. I merely started with this concept and upgraded it with magical means and, as they say in Paris, wallah!
Forget The Daily Prophet's unknowledgeable posturing and protect yourself and your family with the device that you don't need to be a discerning intellectual to use. Just see our slogan:
Death-dar: So Easy, a Giant Could Do It*
On sale now for the low, low rate of 35 Galleons. Ask yourself: Can you really put a price on your family's safety? Yes, you answer yourself, 35 Galleons.
* Don't go sharing the slogan with my Collections Giant, 'cause imaginary though he may be, he wouldn't take kindly to it.**
** Note I said he 'may' be imaginary. Do you really want to take that chance?
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| 002. |
[17 Feb 2010|02:30am] |
I've recently looted come into some tip-top merchandise following JUST BEFORE the whole rough-and-tumble business in Diagon Alley. If you're in the market for dress robes, quidditch gear or textbooks at off-season prices - a steal, if you ask me! - then owl soon before they're all snapped up.
Marlene
Heard some right awful rumors about you and some seriously sick blokes. Anything I can do to help keep good folk out of the hands of madmen? You let me know. I ain't totally without a conscious, you know.
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| OOC: Comments/Critiques/Rants |
[17 Feb 2010|02:27am] |
How's Mundungus doing? Please feel free to leave any comments or criticism here to help the li'l guy improve!
And if you need me and I'm MIA, leave a comment here and I'll get back to you ASAP! <3
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| [Open] |
[20 Jan 2010|10:54am] |
Are you hiding under your coverlets, afraid to leave the house? Do you wake in the middle of the night screaming? Are your day-to-day thoughts filled with the terrible images of your loved ones being torn to bits by dark magical creatures?
Then you need the newly patented CREATURE-AWAY, for when your fears are justified and traditional magic just won't cut it. Creature-Away is a revolutionary new magical device that emits a number of sounds designed specifically to madden and chase off dangerous magical creatures.* Act now and we will rush you the first sound disc in the series, Wolf-Away, free with your purchase. Don't let the full moon keep you from enjoying a nice tea and crumpets with friends on your back patio - it's possible with Wolf-Away!**
After your initial purchase, we will continue to rush you the next disc in the series, including Giant-Away, Centaur-Away, and Mermaid-Away, every month! What a deal! If at any point you are dissatisfied, you can cancel for a full refund!***
PLUS!!!!!!!!
Are you in need of some good, old-fashioned, erotic escapism in these troubled times? Look no further than Fletch, a newly-inducted peddler of the popular moving-picture series, Witches Gone Wild.**** Bringing you the sexiest witches around like you've never seen them before, this series is sure to please even the most discriminating tastes. Try Volume IV for sadomasochism, or Volume VI for bestiality. Those with delicate sensibilities will enjoy Volume XI: Home Cooking.
Owl now and we will rush your package with discretion!*****
* Trials so far inconclusive as to this ability.
** May or may not be a good idea.
*** But not really.
**** What you receive may or may not be an inexpensive knock-off.
***** Unless you try to kick up some kind of fuss.
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